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~ True Friendship ~

Dear Fucker,

You are my fuckiní friend and I hope you know that's fucking true. No matter what the fuck happens, I will stand the fuck by you. I will be there for you whenever the fuck you need me. To lend you a fuckiní hand; to do a fuckiní good deed. So just fuckiní call on me whenever the fuck you need me, my fuckiní friend. Fuck...I will fuckiní always be fuckiní there, even to the fuckiní end.

Sincerely,

Your Fuckin' Friend

Friend,

When you are sad.....
I will help you plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

When you are blue.....
I'll try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

When you smile.....
I'll know you finally got laid.

When you are scared.....
I will rag you about it every chance I get.

When you are worried.....
I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.

When you are confused.....
I will use little words to explain it to your dumb ass.

When you are sick.....
I don't want whatever you have.

When you fall.....
I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

This is my oath.....I pledge 'til the end.

Why you may ask?

Because you're my friend!