Some are good, some are bad. Some are REALLY bad. Few are worthy of the "Great" title. Let's go over what makes a "good" or "bad" commercial.
The "Guilt Trip" Commercial:
Image on screen: Flashing pictures of dirtly little kids. "These children are poor, unfortunate souls. They need your help. Only a cruel and heartless monster would change the channel and refuse to help these sad, disease infested..."CLICK. The only reason it took me so long is I had to find the remote. These commercials suck. Why? Because nobody likes a guilt trip. Only the truly sensitive, caring and gullible (to the point of nausea) people fall for that shit. If you want me to pay you money, you have to make me feel GOOD, not BAD. You make me feel bad, you make me depressed, antisocial, fall into chronic drug abuse or go totally postal.
The "You are Evil" Commercial:
Image on screen: normal everyday people talking. "I blow up buildings...I hi-jack planes...I helped kill 100 people...It's just some fun... I kidnap children... Image on screen: "If you do dugs, you support terrorists." I HATE that commercial. That makes me want to go get a pound of crack and just eat it all at once. Drug users aren't terrorists... TERRORISTS ARE TERRORISTS. It's just like the guilt trip commercials; I am bad, I should listen to you. Does that mean if someone tells you: "You are bad for not using your turn signal, you should go drive off a cliff", are you going to do it? Of course not.
The "I Will Be Sexy and/or I Will Pick Up Hotties If I Buy This" Commercial:
Image on screen: Woman, size 3. With 32 D sized boobs. Wearing cute little outfit, pouting her lips as she talks, showing off even more skin as she moves. "You have cable? What-EVER. I only date Dish men.". Well imagine that. You really think a girl cares what you have on TV? If you do, you REALLY have a small dick. Same goes for the commercials where the girl is swearing up and down that Revlon "It Will Stay On YOur Lips Till You Die" lipstick has improved her love life. Only if she's a hooker who's lost business cuz she leaves lipstiuck rings you know where. Being sexy means being confident enough not to fall for cheesy commercials.
The "Unexpected Surprise" Commercial:
Image on screen: Battlebot wanna-be. The Chompinator vs. the mini-fridge. Mini-fridge opens, exposing Bud Light. Chompinator goes to grab, Mini-Fridge opens up a coffin-sized can of whoop-ass. "Nothing beats a Bud Light." This commercial RULES. It's great because the first time you see it, you think, "Mini-fridge is gonna die." And then it doesn't. The underdog wins, and we get the happy-squishy feeling. And we go to buy Bud-Light, because we sometimes feel like the underdog. Mini-fridge (underdog) drinks Bud Light. WE feel like the underdog. WE should drink Bud-Light. Great marketing strategy.
The "So Stupid It's Funny" Commercial:
WASSUP??? Need I say more? Seems like Budweiser has got the commercial thing down. WASSUP??? became a craze, a household word. 90% of Americans have used it at least once when answering the phone. It was so freaking retarded, we couldn't help but love it. Another example: "Can you hear me now? Huh? Now can you hear me? Can you hear me now?" I STILL use that one every once in a while.
The "Kids Say the Darnest Things" Commercial:
Image on screen: Mom in hallway, listening to her two little boys tlaking in their room. Boy 1: "You've got $5 bucks, what are you gonna buy?" Boy 2:"OB Tampons." Boy 1:"Why?" Boy 2:"Because I can run and swim ride a bike!" Image on screen: Mom is laughing her ass off in the hall. This is a great commercial. It takes a hard to promote product (who wants to hear the words "feminine hygene"?) and makes it absolutely hilarious. It's the innocence of a kid's thinking, combined with an adult's perspective, that makes it so great.